Not to toot my own horn, but I think my seduction is working. Today I received not one email from my future wife, not two, not three, not four, but five emails! The following is a condensed version of all the emails….

“Hello ow are you doing today hope all is well with you there,,,,,,i will love to meet you face to face Okay,,,,,,,,so what did you do for work there????Okay i don’t work here okay,,,,,,,i will be happy yo live with the man that i really love me so much,,,,,Man that will care an be honest with me okay,,,,but i will love to see you face to face Okay,,,,,You are so good in your picture Okay,,,,,,All the money i come with here is finish Okay,,,,,now i need money to get to state Okay….Or if you will love if i can come over to your place Okay,,,,,If you know you are honest care man that will love me so much more Okay,,,,Cox am single here Okay.

,,,,,,,I really love honesty so much,,,,,An i will love if you are honest with me here,,,,All i want is your care an your honest,,,,,i don’t believe on internet love Okay i will love to see you face to face Okay..

i will love to meet you soon Okay,,,,,,,Cox am all alone here an a single woman that will love to meet honest an caring man that will be open minded person Okay,,,,,Take good care of your self for me Carlos

I have miss your Mail Okay,,,,,,i will love to read your mail now okay am miss you now okay”

I’m not positive, but I’m pretty sure in west Africa the word “Okay” is short for “I want your manrod”.

My reply:

“I’m super, thanks for asking!

I figured you didn’t have a job, seeing that you don’t have any money. It’s a good thing your grandma is too sick to realize you’re eating her food and leeching off her money. Have you thought of maybe selling off some of her meds? She’ll probably kick the bucket soon and won’t need them anyway. You could make the $350 easily just by pushing some of those prescripts. You have any High Schools or Middle Schools close to where you live? Kids love drugs!

I don’t like to brag about my job, but I will say that I got a promotion last year and I am now making a salary well into the low five figures. Be making a lot more if it weren’t for the meth. But I don’t want you to love me just for my money, when I have such a sweet manbeam to offer.

I’m all about that caring and honesty shit too, especially when I’m banging. You can have my care and my honest, and you can have my cock too! And I know you love the Cox!

You ain’t gonna find a more open minded man than me, baby. I’ll pee on you and stuff, if that’s what you’re getting at. I’ll even take a dump on you. I won’t let you take a dump on me though. That’s where I draw the line. I am a Christian after all.

Let me know when you get the money to come over. You can stay in my room and sleep on the top bunk. I’m sure my aunt won’t mind moving to the couch. She passes out drunk there all the time anyway. Hope you don’t mind blood stains on the mattress. It’s nothing crazy, it’s just that she forgets to put her tampons on right some times. It’s been better since I started helping her. The spots are pretty dried out though, and we use plastic covers now. It’s more the side drippings I have to worry about now.

Can’t wait to jizz on you face to face!”

Ladies, if you ever need any help getting these in, I'm now an expert. All those years of putting them in myself finally paid off.

(Originally Posted April 12, 2010)

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