It seems Theresa took the news of my sexual transplant pretty well. In fact I’d even venture to say it made her want me even more, as evidenced by the increasingly desperate sounding emails she sent me:
“Honey let me be there with you ok”
“Hello where have you been all this days my love i really miss you so much more or you don’t love ne anymore???”
“Why are you doing this to me honey if you know you don’t love me anymore let me know my love“
And that’s exactly the font size she used in the email she sent me.
So I replied:
“whoawhoawhoawhoawhoa, fecalturd, didn’t you get my last message? I’m going through a lot of shit here. My lovemissile got chewed off by a hungry canine and I’ve been in the middle of several pussy surgeries. Honestly, I didn’t know it was gonna be so rough, you’d think all they’d have to do is drill up a hole and rub a dead fish on your crotch, but apparently there’s all kinds of operations involved. Just waiting on someone to die so they could transplant their pussy lips on me was taking forever. Fortunately some 90 year old hag at the old folks home tripped on her walker and we managed to yank the pussy out of her before anybody tried to revive her. So now my vag hole is cloaked by two mid-thigh dangling ash colored meat drapes, but at least it’s something. The recovery time is a bitch too. It doesn’t help that I’m paying off half the surgery by letting the doctor fuck me on his days off. He doesn’t have a particularly big cock (Thank The All Mighty Lord SATAN), but he tries to make up for it by ramming into me like a crazed monkey. He’s made my vag stitches snap three times already. Last time he banged me one of my scabs got caught in his peehole, so I’m hoping he might lay off the screwing for a while. I can’t tell you how sore my lovehole is. Now I know how it must’ve felt after you ran a train with half the men in Nigeria! I really wish I had enough money to just pay the doctor off so I could just relax and let my pussy heal completely… you wouldn’t happen to have any money you could send me would you? Anything you can send would Really help!
Hope to hear from you soon, crabherpes!
By the way, I’d appreciate it if you started calling me “Danielle”. It’s the new name I’m going by now that I’m gonna be rockin the clam between my legs.”
Unfortunately, she’s still broke.
“Honey u know i don’t have any money with me here my love i wish i have i we love to help you”
“ah shoot, well maybe i we will can convince the doctor to have fuck me us in the ass instead.”
“i don’t really understand what you mean Okay.”
“It’s all good, I’m just jumping the shark anyway.”
“Okay i will miss you here Okay”