Things are getting a little hectic since I have to take care of two fronts now. One with Theresa and one with her father’s lawyer. The last time I talked to the lawyer he asked me for $4000. I had to tell him that unfortunately I didn’t have that kind of money. But I asked if he’d be willing to accept $47.39 as a down payment, since it was all I had on me at the time.
Here’s the latest correspondence I had with distinguished Nigerian attorney at law – Mr. Sam Larry Cole Okay. His reply after my last email:
“that is a little money Okay $47.39,,,,,that can do any thing out of my money,,,,,if you can make it like $100,,,,So that i will know you are going to give me $3900,,,i will konw Okay but $47.39 is a little money Okay,,,,let it be like $100 Okay”
“Okay i will send you my address Okay,,,Are you sure you are going to help your wife out???”
It was nice of him to be concerned about my wife’s welfare, but I gotta admit I took a little offense at him questioning my commitment to her:
“Yeah, I’m gonna help my wife out, what kind of a deadbeat husband do you think I am? I will remain loyal to my wife or my name isn’t Mr. Theresa Lawson!
As far as the money, you’ll be glad to hear that since we last spoke my savings have significantly increased. Not long after you send me your address you’ll be the lucky recipient of $63.21!
Like I said though, the real money is gonna start pouring in once I hear back from my associate in Burkina Faso. It seems there’s been a processing snag since I last sent him some money, so I might have to send him a bit more to get the process going again. Once that happens though it’s gonna be Cash City!
SHOW ME THE MONEY!!! C’MON SAY IT!!!!
Mr. Theresa Lawson.”
He kept asking me how much I was going to send him though. Apparently, he didn’t read my email very thoroughly. And why would he really, he’s only a lawyer:
“Okay Mr theresa lawson tell me how much you have now that yo want to send to me here???”
“Dude, I Told you! I got almost a whole hundo I can send you, Cuz. My man in Burkina Faso is telling me he needs more money though, so unless you get back to me soon I’m gonna have to send it to him.
On a related note, I was hoping you could assist me with another matter. I have this bump/alien-lifeform sorta thing developing right at the border between my dick shaft and the mushroomhead of my penis. I haven’t mentioned it to my wife yet, because I’m afraid she might leave me if I tell her, but I figure you can give me your honest advice, man to man. Plus you’re a lawyer and there’s that whole confidentiality thing. Like with my priest. Except with him it was more like I was the one that couldn’t tell anybody else things. Anyway, what do you think is going on? It’s pretty red and starting to turn kinda purple. It’s like a pimple, but not really. I drew you a picture so you can get a better idea of what I’m talking about. What should I do?
-Mr. Theresa Lawson.”