Sex, Drugs, and Comedy… not much sex though, or drugs… ok just Comedy.

Posts tagged “Obama

I think the Government is on drugs…

Earlier this month the White House announced that President Obama was commuting the sentences of many non-violent drug offenders because he feels they are victims of outdated drug policies.

…then a week later the DEA announced they will continue enforcing the outdated drug policy that marijuana should remain illegal for any purpose.

In March, President Obama attended a drug abuse & heroin summit where he basically said addicts should not be treated as criminals, but instead be provided with access to effective treatment options to help them deal with their heroin/opium dependency.

…then this week the DEA announced it’s working on banning access to an effective treatment option that helps drug addicts deal with their heroin/opium dependency – Kratom, and will essentially treat addicts as criminals for purchasing it.

If you’re having a hard time following, let me sum it up this way:

Don’t do drugs or the DEA’s outdated drug policies may land you in jail. But since you landed in jail due to the DEA’s outdated drug policies there’s a chance Obama will release you, as long as you treat your addiction once you’re released. But be careful about how you seek treatment because if you use the wrong type of treatment the DEA’s outdated drug policies may land you in jail again. But since you landed in jail due to the DEA’s outdated drug policies there’s a chance Obama will release you, as long as you treat your addiction once you’re released. But be careful about how you seek treatment because if you use the wrong type of treatment the DEA’s outdated drug policies may land you in jail again. But since you landed in jail due to the DEA’s outdated drug policies there’s a chance Obama will release you, as long as you treat your addiction once you’re released. But be careful about how you seek treatment because if you use the wrong type of treatment the DEA’s outdated drug policies may land you in jail again. But since you landed in jail due to the DEA’s outdated drug policies…

Make sense now? Of course not.

The real question though, is who’s really in charge of establishing drug policy in the United States? The President or the DEA?

Trick Question. The answer is Pharmaceutical Companies.

If you guessed right, congratulations! You win a lifetime supply of Viagra with its corresponding Valtrex prescription. I’d ask if I could have some, but the Prozac downed my bonermissile ages ago.


Obama: Worst Maid EVER.

Here’s my hypothesis…

Perhaps because most wealthy Republicans are used to hiring brown people to do it for them, they’re not very familiar with the clean-up process. They have a very limited concept of how long it takes and how much work goes into cleaning up a mess. All they know is brown people can and are supposed to clean up the messes they’ve made in a fast and efficient manner, otherwise they’re fired.

So that’s why after George W. Bush took an eight year shit on America, they expect Obama to have it cleaned up in nine months.

What do you mean you're not done sweeping the Empire State Building? It's been 8 minutes already!

 

Originally Posted (10/10/09)