A couple of weeks ago filmmaker Matt Ott hit me up about being on his Comedians In Public series. He explained to me that I would have to perform in public (Bad), during the day (Worse), for people who weren’t paying attention (Worser). It sounded like a complete nightmare, so of course I agreed to do it. Then a day after I agreed to do it he dropped the bomb on me that the location he had chosen for my public performance was the Billy Graham Library (The Worst). Either Matt was not aware of my utter disdain for everything religious, or he did and he’s the biggest asshole in the world. Either way, I’m a man of my word and he’s an evil bastard. (more…)
I found this image kinda scary, so I took a picture of it.
It’s frightening for several reasons. Look at the woman’s pasty white skin, a tell-tale sign of the undead. Look at her hair and her choice of clothing. What woman in her right mind would wear her hair like that? This “person” is obviously trying to impersonate a human being, or what they believe a human being should look like. But their lack of experience among the living prohibits them from doing it effectively. For all we know this so-called “woman” could very well be a man. (more…)
Back in the day, I used to have a Xanga site. For those unfamiliar, Xanga at the time was just a blog site. Think of MySpace without anything else except the blog. Eventually I migrated towards MySpace realizing the better potential for sexual prey.
While I used Xanga though, you had the option of subscribing to “Blogrings”. Blogrings were supposed to be groups you could join to connect with other people who shared a common interest, like say, Electrical Wiring. Well among the groups I joined was “**Christian Teens Rock**”. This led to me getting a message from a Xanga member saying the following:
“…I saw you’re part of the Christian Teens Rock blogring and thought that was cool! Its encouraging to see other believers witnessing and sharing their faith online. Do you go to church now?”
Now sure, this is a nice letter, and maybe I shouldn’t laugh. But I do. Because if this guy had just spent one fraction of a second to scan below **Christian Teens Rock** on my blogring list he may have figured out I wasn’t exactly witnessing as much as he assumed I was.
I guess my point is it may be a good idea to take half a second to care about what a person is about before you start pretending to care about what a person is about.
(Originally Posted 1/12/07)
So not too long ago I let everybody know of my ranking accomplishments as a MySpace comedian. For those of you too lazy to scroll and click back to that blog entry I’ll just let you know that I was North Carolina’s #1 ranked comedian in the “Family Friendly” genre, while at the same time being North Carolina’s #2 ranked “Explicit/Raw” comedian.
So I decided to venture out, try to conquer new ground now that I’d made “Family Friendly” my bitch. Where did Carlos turn next? “Christian” comedy, of course. And guess what? Now I’m the #1 goddamn “Christian” comic in North Carolina, MotherFuckers!! Check it out! (more…)