Comedian Rankings 2: Cher the Lamp Designer
So not too long ago I let everybody know of my ranking accomplishments as a MySpace comedian. For those of you too lazy to scroll and click back to that blog entry I’ll just let you know that I was North Carolina’s #1 ranked comedian in the “Family Friendly” genre, while at the same time being North Carolina’s #2 ranked “Explicit/Raw” comedian.
So I decided to venture out, try to conquer new ground now that I’d made “Family Friendly” my bitch. Where did Carlos turn next? “Christian” comedy, of course. And guess what? Now I’m the #1 goddamn “Christian” comic in North Carolina, MotherFuckers!! Check it out!
Guess the Holy Spirit wasn’t with you this time, Chris and Dillon!! I think the good Lord has decided who’ll be telling pedophile jokes for North Carolina at the next Revival!
On a less cheerful note, I once again checked my ranking at my other speciality. As many of you know, I’m no “one trick pony”. If I only told “Christian” jokes my sets would be pretty goddamn boring, so I sprinkle some “Explicit/Raw” material here and there. Unfortunately, my hard work has been rewarded by slipping down one more spot in the rankings. Now I’m number 3! Jesus Fucking Christ!
I’m getting beat now by a guy called “Mike”. He’s not even “Mike The Comedian”, god knows what he is, yet he is still better than me!
At least before, I knew I was getting beat by a comedian who surely busted his ass to make that torturous climb above the mountain of “Explicitness/Rawness” called “carlos valencia”. But now I’m just being beaten by Mike “the lamp designer” for all I know. And to add insult to injury, “Mike” doesn’t even have a last name! He’s like the Cher of comedy. “Cher the lamp designer” is more Expliciter and Rawer than me.
I guess I should start more than sprinkling Explicit/Raw jokes into my Christian sets. From now on I’ll be showering my sets with “Explicit/Raw” jokes, and it’s gonna be Golden.
(Originally Posted 9/6/06)