Sex, Drugs, and Comedy… not much sex though, or drugs… ok just Comedy.

Rantings of a 300 year old man.

This is my reaction to new communication technologies throughout the centuries. Some of these are factual, and some are speculative. I’ll let you guess which are which:

19th Century

“Why do I need a telephone when I can just use a telegraph?”

20th Century

“Why do I need a cell phone when I can just use a telephone?”

21st Century

“Why do I need an iPhone when I can just use a cell phone?”

21st Century (2nd Decade)

“Why do I need an iPad when I can just use an iPhone?”

22nd Century

“Why do I need to synchronize my mind to the universal consciousness matrix when I’ve already gotten an implant that plugs me into the intergalactic thought network”

23rd Century

“How the fuck am I still alive? Who are you?? Get off my lawn! How do lawns even still exist?? What the fuck is going on? I’m not entirely sure I’m not dead. I have to be dead. I’m almost 300 for fuck’s sake. Everyone I’ve ever known is dead now. I’m gonna make that my Facebook status today. Ah shit, it already read my mind and posted it. God dammit, I hate it when it does that. Get out of my head, Facebook!! Seriously though, I gotta be dead now, right?”

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