Excalibur vs. Experian!
I got an offer in the mail to try out “Credit Protector” free for a month and I’d get $20 off on gas. So I figured “I use gas. I’ll sign up for this, get my $20 and cancel before the month is up.” Easy twenty bucks (and about 4 gallons of gas).
So when the time came I called up customer service to cancel, but the lady that answered kept trying to convince me not to cancel. I didn’t want to tell her I had just signed up to get the $20 gas rebate, for fear of sounding like a broke ass, so I tried to play along… for a while at least…
her: “Are you sure you want to cancel Credit Protector, sir?”
me: “yeah, pretty much”
me: “..I just don’t think I need it”
her: “Do you know that over 5 million people in America get their identities stolen every year? Once they steal your identity they can buy things under your name and ruin your credit.”
me: “yeah, but I want to cancel though…”
her: “Sir, if you keep the Credit Protector program you’ll be insured against identity theft and you’ll get to review your credit report to check for unauthorized purchasing activity.”
me: “right, I don’t want to pay for Credit Protector though…”
her: “So if you cancel, how are you going to protect your credit?”
me: “with a sword?”
her: “Ok, good night, sir.”
(Originally Posted 2/8/05)